Court today it was ok, Glad its done onto next step.

Blah Blah Blah

Thinking about what people want from me. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

Thinking

I spend way to much time thinking about stuff. I know when I do this it causes me great stress I am not sure how not to do this I then get down about who I am not a great thing. Don't get me wrong I know everyone thinks and its healthy its the things I think about that get in the way. I have taken the steps I need to to move on in life (not the bad way move on) the good steps. I have hobbies that I enjoy I spend time with my kids and take care of my house but I can't seem to make choices about me that make me happy. I know a blog is helping me out for sure I need to write more and I will soon very soon there will be more content here.

Wow Time Goes So Fast

Wow time goes so fast when your trying to live a good life. I have done allot of changes this year I have had weight changes up and down my body keeps changing and i'm happy for that, I know I had some big mood changes from being so happy to being so depressed not knowing I was depressed getting laid off finding work getting screwed over for my pay check and loosing some loved ones, I took the time to step back look at the big picture and start the changes. My oldest son living with me full time for the first time in over 10 years was a big eye opener (love it) I cant wait to see the man (Mattia) he will become, My other child (Sydney) hes fantastic he is so funny in the way he deals with things, Hes going to be a handful as he gets bigger love you boys both so much. My friends who have been true friends some very good ones and the ones that weren't are gone out of my life good bye losers. My friends that are in my life are some of the most fantastic people in the world. I don't spend as much time with them as I should but I want them to know they have helped more than they will ever know

Wow its been a bit

It has been a bit since I wrote anything, I have been making changes in my life that some people will like and others wont but that's ok, I am enjoying who I am becoming I have a few people who I will need to thank. To Boris thanks for showing me its ok to have the ability to face who and what I have become to Boris wife & family thanks for letting me be around even with my faults. I want to thank my ex wifes for being good moms and I want to thank my kids for being good and not stepping out of line in anyway that cant be hanndled at home.

Its been a bit

Well its been a bit since I posted on here so quick catch up on me. I have found I am good at what I do, I wrestled in Calgary on this past weekend with one of my best friends as my tag partner we didnt win but the two other teams we faced will not forget us any time soon. Ran into a friend I havent seen in a long time she seems more happy in life now, good visit with my youngest child hes good and my oldest turns 15 very soon.

A Heart Beat

There once was a man who thought he was just on the earth to be a chaos figure then after chance meeting he realized that there was more to life. He now knows there is good as well.

Damn crossing the street

Yesterday my kid and I were going to tim hortons and two trucks stopped for us to cross but the red car choose to stop in the back end of one of the trucks

Intrested In Life

It has taken me a bit of time to let go and start enjoying life again, I have been pouting I would call it not that that's the right way to be not at all. I have been thinking about all the stuff I have gone threw and the stuff I have caused to happen with negative thoughts. I know there is a time period that your allowed to think about whats what I figure you have less than a year well that's what my problem has been I let it go on in my head for to long and that is just wrong for me, I am glad I have true friends who put up with the shit and I am sorry for you all having to put up with it. Next chapter in my life is a go and its time to make the run of a life.

I love my 14 year old son, I love my 14 year old son, I love my 14 year old son, I love my 14 year old son ok I said it you won your right I was wrong

Fire Pit

Nice long weekend sat by my fire pit for two nights ok Sat night I slept by fire pit but that was cause of beer

Friendship

I have a few people who I consider true friends they are the people I would do anything for them and thier families. But it feels sometimes I am the friend that its ok to be the friend but it's not ok if I'm the friend who is willing to do other things for the family, see let me explain one day I said to a friend why dont I watch the kids for you and the wife, His reply was simple and direct not meant to hurt my feelings but he said to me ya don't take this wrong but there is no way ever the wife will ever let you watch the kids. Now I don't know how else to take it's one of those things that make me think ok your a friend Ivan but not that friend who we trust with kids and the funny thing is my two kids have turned out ok (atleast I belive they have). Its becoming clearer to me as the years go bye maybe I have made the wrong choices with my life more often than not. I now have the wisdom to move past the little things people say about me but I still have feelings even if I do hide who I am .

Pictures

I have been fixing a wall in my house with pictures of my friends and the people I consider family its been a long journey into all aspects from my life I really enjoyed it now it has got me wanting to take more pictures and since I have 5 different film cameras it looks like I will be taking more

New comic book day

Got to love Wednesday new comic book day not that i can afford mine but its good to have a friend who owns the store

Comics

Comic books are a great way to get kids reading

3 years

I was with the same company for 3 years and with the layoff it is time to move on and they understand everyone need to pay bills or so they say, I know its been a trying time for everyone on the planet but when your this low can you get any lower I will let you know if i get to the very bottom

Well a year

Its been almost a whole year that my oldest son has been living with me, I know that it sounds different that I say that but for most of him life he has lived with him mother and brother then her husband and new baby sister, His brother is also my son witch works out well for me I love having two boys they are so different from each other, but I digress as I was saying a whole year is almost done and it has been a very good year, He is 14 now and is getting to be at the point of becoming a mad man, I am looking forward to helping him become a good man soon it will be the other kids turn to choose to live with me and I get to do it one more time.

The move forward in life

Making change can and is a big deal to people most don't like the changes that happen or more to the point if they don't have a say in the change well Monday May 3, 2010 was the day I opened my eyes and started the changes I needed to make for me and my family now I don't look at family the way others look at family my family are the people I choose to make my family not the blood family but the family that helps you continue to grow as a human being.

What a long month

Well the month of April was a interesting time I started a new chapter on my life, I know who I am what I want and how I'm going to get there now allot of people won't like it but hey its time I look after me as well. To end the month I got drunk and sent allot of hateful text messages out that night passed out not remembering where my truck was. It is time for a change and the time is now for me.

Things I Should do for myself

Learn to say NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Learn to say NO Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Learn to say NO I won't do that for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been a couple of days since I posted on here for a few reasons 1 being I needed to recover from my wrestling match on Sat night 2 was being I was really disappointed in some of the guys in the locker room and needed to think about their actions before I reacted. I look at these people in the locker room I helped create and think why are some of these young kids even out there. Ahhh well its what it is now onto something way better in the end of it all. I am thinking its time to take a break from reality and find myself a hobby not a bunch of things that need to be fixed or done but something I can do and relax.

A Tribute to a person who hated me

The Marie Ewaschuk Tribute Show

So this Saturday the wrestlers in Alberta are going to have a show to raise funds for the family of Marie Ewaschuk family, Now do think I'm not helping I am but not for the reasons everyone thinks I have know the family for years and for the most part they are a good family like everyone else on the planet they have thier issues, Marie was one of those people who you either liked or wanted to yell at most of it wasn't her fault it had alot to do with her son Steve (squiggy). The Ewaschuk family have been around wrestling for as long as I have knowen them really longer than that but for this point it don't matter ( I blame Bob Johnson) Steve had always wanted to be a wrestler and no one really thought he should be one Steve has a habit of turnning what you say so you sound like a ass and everyone knows he does it so they don't trust him much plus lets not go into the fact he cant wrestle well. So like all good families they buy the guy a wrestling ring so he can wrestle while the family does this they start running shows all over Alberta in any town they can run and thats good for the wrestlers in Alberta (more work is always a good thing) but while doing this they have never made any money from the shows and they have run deep into trouble with money and Marie passes away leaving Vic her husband in a bad place with a huge pile of bills mostly from borrowing money to run this wrestling company. Now to the real point of this I can't think of how it would feel when someone you love (vic) would feel knowing he can't pay for a service for his wife because he has no money for anything. I may not be the best person on the planet but even I think this is wrong. So for one night only in edmonton the guys are working for free for the Ewaschuk family I hope Marie gets the rest she deeply needed in this life.

Wrestling

Life as a pro wrestler can be intresting we find ourselves in some difficult places some times like last night at camp we have this guy who isn't that bad as a person but just a little bit ago he hit his ex girlfriend, He came to camp last night and a few guys who were in the ring wanted to beat him to death and I had to stop it but I made sure he took alot of hits from the guys and sure they layed the shots in a few of them were hard hits but nothing like the kick to the chest he took from slammer

Things in Life

For the past 37 years of my life I have been making choices based on what it does to others. I have thinking about the stuff in life has been going on and it has been a very long trip, I have been a child, youth, teen, adult, single, a parent, married, divoriced, new married, seperated, single, relationship, in love, jail, work, friend, borther, cover man, pro wrestler, safety officer, student, thief, lier, cheater, lover, collector. Now I'm at a point where its time to be making changes for me and with this life its happening with my wanting it to happen or not being a man you make the hard choices you say the right things when you should and you say the wrong thing shouldn't but with life thats what you get.

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

Andy Warhol (1928 - 1987)

What a weekend

Sat morning I helped a friend move his comic book shop ok it was all day sat but who knew a comic shop would have that much shit, then sunday I go back for a few hours then run to go get food from the store that was worse then moving in the afternoon a two hour nap followed up by a nice hottub and good supper then a visit from Brice Sova ok it was more like his other personality Slammer but just the same it is good hes making changes for himself

Melt Down

Melt downs happen to the best of us I know for a fact some of the people I'm closest with melt down on a regular bases whether its due to outside forces or because of stress we all hit a point where we say OK no more, Then we as humans do one of two things we flip out or we hold it in lately I have been having a hard time holding it in. We say things to people that we mean but should just keep to ourselves and that is something I need to re start doing keeping my mouth shut it might not be good for me but it won't hurt others if I do keep it in.

Change

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965), The Razor's Edge, 1943

Getting out of a funk

There is a point when you cant go any farther down and I believe I have hit that point now don't get me wrong I do believe shit happens every day but you have to be there to catch it. I have chosen not to catch it any more and that's a good thing take yesterday for example I let my mother my truck it comes back with $2000 worth of repair work I was pissed off to no end then at work I got into it with a douche bag coworker he backed off after I started to yell, after sitting last night up all night I thought what would some of my friends do lets take Drew he would cut a promo on the person make then feel about 2 inches tall so would Hot shot, But then I have friends like Boris who would be pissed off but let it pass Al would be the same. So I took the middle road I yelled and flipped out making her pay for the repairs and then I will let it go I just wont help anyone like it again

When is it time

I guess the question I'm faced with is when is it time to say no after the person wreecks the truck before because I know they arent a good driver on when its going to cost $2000 to fix the problems to the truck they created

Power of Friendship

I sit and think of the friendships I have had over the years and I have come to be aware that the true friends I have made I have kept and for that I will say thanks to them.

Here is a quote I enjoy

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.

George Washington (1732 - 1799)

Things I Have To Do During My Lifetime Or Will Try To Do

Things I Have To Do During My Lifetime: (or will try to do)

Gone on a blind date
Donated Blood
Skipped school
Watched someone die
Been to Canada
Been to USA

Been to Europe
Been on a plane
Been on a helicopter

Been lost
Gone to Washington, DC
Ridden in a Police Car
Hugged a homeless person
Swam in the ocean
Been sailing in the ocean
Cried yourself to sleep
Played cops and robbers
Recently colored with crayons
Ran a marathon
Sang Karaoke
Volunteered at a soup kitchen
Paid for a meal with coins only
Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
Seen the Northern Lights
Been Parasailing
Been on TV
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do
Made prank phone calls
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
Fed an elephant
Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Fired a gun
Danced in the rain
Been to the Opera
Written a letter to Santa Claus
Serenaded someone
Seen a Canadian Prime Minister in person
Been kissed under the mistletoe
Watched the sunrise with someone
Driven a race car
Been to a National Museum
Been to a Wax Museum
Eaten caviar
Blown bubbles
Gone ice-skating
Gone to the movies
Been deep sea fishing
Driven across the United States
Been in a hot air balloon
Been sky diving
Gone snowmobiling
Lived in more than one country
Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
Seen a falling star and made a wish
Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
Seen the Grand Canyon (from an Air plane)
Seen the Statue of Liberty
Been on a cruise
Traveled by train
Traveled by motorcycle
Been horse back riding
Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
Been in a rain forest
Seen whales in the ocean
Been to Niagara Falls
Ridden on an elephant
Swam with dolphins
Been to the Olympics
Walked on the Great Wall of China
Been to Africa
Saw and heard a glacier calf
Been water-skiing
Been snow-skiing
Been to Westminster Abbey
Been to The Louvre
Been in the London Eye
Swam in the Mediterranean
Been to a Major League Baseball game
Been to a Canadian Football League game
Been to a National Hockey League game
Swam with sharks
Been White Water Rafting
Written a book or screen play
Been to a Tournament of Roses Parade
Lived in more than one state--Province
Become a parent
Been Bungee Jumping
Been to Vegas
Been to a minor league baseball game
Worked on a political campaign
Been to the top of the Empire State Building
Ridden a Subway-Sky train
Been to your High School Reunion
Been Scuba Diving

Been Honest with someone who you should be

Loved Someone

A look at dumb choices

Have you ever sat back and thought about what you have chosen to do take yesterday for example I train people to be Pro wrestlers I have blown my knee out twice before both times it has been my right knee I know when I over do it with my body you think I would stop sit back and relax but no like every guy on the planet earth I go ah I just tweaked it it will be fine then I will say to everyone its OK I will go put some ice on it then some heat then ice but do you think I really do it na I'm a tough guy, Ya a tough guy who is now in a leg brace once again thinking I am one dumb son of a bitch. I know what to do hell my day job is as a safety officer I know whats right to do and whats not and this just proves once again I like allot of men are just dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People Choices

When you look at some people you wonder why they are the way they are, You can blame family or economy but really it comes down to personal choices. I know some people wish it was them or it was someone else it happens to but really take a step back look at what you have done to make it easier on yourself, I have a friend Boris as you can tell by my blog this is a guy I look up to he's a good father to his kids he tries hard to be a good husband to his wife, hell he's even nice to his ex wife(I have one of those and it's not easy) then I look at my friend Al again he tries hard like Boris he does the right things he takes life as it come, But there are others out there who if they just made a different choice they wouldn't have the negative problems they are having with life. They just can't or don't want to think they are doing something wrong. Any how there's my rant take it for what you want

Wrestling

I have been involved with Pro wrestling for the last 15 years I have seen allot of stuff in this job, I can say job and mean it there is allot of hard work that goes into wrestling from the promotions side of it to the matches that happen by the guys or girls in the ring also cant forget the ring crew to the ref's. It takes a different person to be involved in Pro wrestling. So some people say we aren't real athletes others say we are just actors, Some people think it's all fake and you know what they are wrong, now don't think I'm saying that cause I'm a wrestler I am saying it because the amount of time we put into becoming the best we can be at our craft most people don't know the amount stress we put our bodies through every time we step into the ring, A wrestlers ring life span is really how long they can make money at doing what they love to do there are guys who quit after 1 day then there are guys/girls who after 4 decades are still in the ring making a go of it. Don't be fooled there are very few people in the world of pro wrestling who make a good living out of being a pro wrestler, promoter or any other job there is in wrestling. I have known guys who have made lots of money doing this job and guys who make $50 a night doing it you ask the guys why they do it all of them will say I love it that's why we do it.

Things That Happen

I don't believe in things that happen because of good luck or bad luck just things happen some people want to believe there is luck some faith others believe shit happens, Myself I believe there are two things in this world, Things you cause to happen and things others cause. Take for example my life it is full of chaos and stress but that's because I choose to have people around me that do dumb shit not the good dumb shit you would see on YouTube or Break.com but people who want to be better then you or hold you down because they also want to get ahead in life and don't like how you are doing it. Don't get me wrong there is allot of things I have done in my life to fuck it up that's not what I'm saying the point I'm trying to make is life is going to happen if you want it to or not. I think there is a point in life when you look at yourself and think ok, Take me for example I am 37 years old I have been divoriced and remarried fell in love had to break it off, have two kids, went to jail, opened a company with a friend, opened a safety company because of a friend, became a pro wrestler (15 yrs now) this is not all in order by the way. I did all of this stuff because of things that happen some are my fault others not my fault but I wouldn't change any of it for anything it is who I am and I like myself with all the good and the bad that has happened. There is one other point I would like to make make sure you have friends always I have a few real good ones and a few not so good always thank them for being there with you. (right Boris)

Things That People Do

I was at work yesterday when a coworker come into my office and asked me where so and so was I looked at them and they went white remembering the person was let go it made me think about how much dumb shit people do, Which brings me to the point of the internet. You got to love the internet it opens up so much shit for you to see around the world and how much dumb shit people do, Look at web sites like break.com, youtube.com and others for your own enjoyment they have a ton of videos on them. As far as web blogs check out http://bbboris.com he does way more with his blog he also makes a web show for you to see its called 3BTV

New Office

Well today I set up the new office oh so exciting its one of those things that when you start moving offices you go wow I have alot of shit then you start to put things away and you then have the moment how in the hell did I end up with this (file, a report a cash float of 300$) who the hell would give me a cash float and why don't I know where it goes. I know I will just ask Boris, not that he will know. I do find that when moving the office you are forced to clean your files up better maybe thats what I should do move offices every 6 months then I won't be so far behind on shit.

Well Here We Go

Well a friend of mine Blogs and Twitters all the time I read his stuff all the time and he has the right idea he lets it become his way of release I see the point of it really I do that is why I'm going to steal this idea from him. Not that there aren't 1000's of blogs out there already why would you just read another and another we know why you and everyone else read peoples blogs everyone has that little bit of voyeurism in them they want to know what makes a person say and do the things they do well with the Internet you have the ability to find out what John, Mike, Sue or Boris are doing what they are thinking and how they run their life's. So first off you will see that I will talk allot about anything that comes to mind and I will say things about Boris more often then not.